Things I’ve done since last post

Things I’ve done since last post:

Accidentally become a copywriter.

Had a brain scan.

Started writing a Welsh TV series.

Had a birthday. And a birthday curry.

Sorted clothes into ‘like’ and ‘hate’ piles.

Saw Bruce Springsteen. Concluded he’s still hot.

Went up a mountain. And back down.

Failed the photo-a-day challenge at day 18.

Had a terrible interview for a Nanny job (didn’t get it).

Let a ten year old give me a fake tattoo.

Completed a Simpsons jigsaw.

Got a club card.

Deleted my Facebook account (in my mind).

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Top 5: Time Wasters

If time wasting ever became a qualification, I can tell you that I would definitely be over-qualified. From browsing Etsy to practising hand-stands, I am a top-notch expert in the matter. Here are my top 5 favourite ways to waste time:

1. Verbotomise with Verbotomy

interview

Don’t be surprised if you’ve never heard of Verbotomy. There are currently only three players. Your challenge, should you accept, is to create a word to match a definition. Not only is this game addictive, but it is also incredibly frustrating as you will always find yourself thinking that your word should have won ‘word of the day’ as it was far better than the rest. Here are a few of my past words:

WORD: Cramouflage: /‘Cram-o-flage’/ Anticipating management’s poor attempt at a staff buffet, Pete went about his usual cramouflage, secretly gobbling a hand-full of dried cereal, two cupcakes and half a bag of marshmallows. Etymology: A combination of ‘Cram’- to fill with an excessive amount of food; overfeed, and ‘Camouflage’ – concealment.
DEFINITION: v. To pig out at your desk right before a business lunch, so you’ll be satisfied with a salad and water at the restaurant, and create the impression that you’re not a glutton. n., A secret snack taken to strengthen one’s resolve not to eat too much while others are watching.

WORD: Muffet: /Muff – ay/ The guests stared at the table in silence, wondering who would take the first bite. Susan had once again concocted one of her infamous muffets. Etymology: A combination of ‘Buffet’ – a system of serving meals in which food where the diners serve themselves, and ‘Muff’ – A mistake or failure
DEFINITION: v. To prepare or process food in a manner that renders it unpalatable, indigestible and completely inedible. n., Food which has been prepared in such a way that it is unfit for human, or even non-human, consumption.

Try it yourself here: http://www.verbotomy.com/verbotomics.php

2. Get nostalgic with an Emulator

drmario

As a self-confessed SNES (Super Nintendo) addict, it will come as no surprise that I can waste a good day or two reliving my childhood in the company of Kirby, Mario and Donkey Kong. I use an emulator, which is no nowhere near as good as the real thing, but it really does pass the time. My current favourite is the highly-addictive, bacteria-killing, tetris-style Dr. Mario. If you can cope with whacky colours and irritating music, then Dr. Mario will have you hooked in seconds.

Find different emulators and games here: http://www.emulator-zone.com/

3. Indulge with Indulgy

bacon

I can’t say that I understand the point of Indulgy other than being a major time-wasting site, and boy, does it waste a few hours! If your eyes start to glaze over as you scroll through the endless pages, I’d recommend using the search tool. My particular favourites are ‘Peas’ where you’ll find an image of someone with a pea tattoo (strangely filed under the category ‘Lesbians’), ‘Penis’ which displays a surprising amount of penis-themed edibles, and ‘Bacon’ – who doesn’t love bacon?

Get indulgent here: http://indulgy.com/

4. Get dreaming on Rightmove

If you’re a bit of a dreamer and are feeling extremely bored, here’s a game for you: set yourself a budget (I usually start with £5,500,000), pick a random place on the map, and prepare to drool as you trawl through the UK’s most spectacular homes. (You get extra points if you call up an agency, put on a posh accent and book a house viewing.)

Dream on: http://www.rightmove.co.uk/

5. Get a buzz on BuzzFeed

Every morning as I sip my first cup of tea of the day, I fill yet another BSC (brain storage compartment) with (pointless) information about (pointless) things. Today I learnt 8 sex tips from the 17th Century, oogled over a picture of the prettiest cow of all time, and scrolled through 13 image of men wearing food-themed clothing.

Head over there now: http://www.buzzfeed.com/?country=uk

cow

Ummming and Ahhhing: How not to choose a blog name

Hello and welcome to my blog. If you haven’t read the ‘about’ page, I’m a twenty seven year old Swansea Jack masquerading as a Cardiffian going through what one can only describe as a quarter-life crisis.

To give you a bit of context, last year I quit my job, set up an unsuccessful children’s party business, and then left the country for six months. I returned last month with only the clothes on my back, a rucksack full of chopsticks and a big, fat minus before the pound sign in my bank account. My boyfriend and I are currently looking for somewhere to live, and I have spent the past month trying and failing to map out the rest of my life.

Being an ever-aspiring writer and internet addict, I decided last week to put my time to good use and write a book. But being an ever-aspiring writer and internet addict, I got distracted on Facebook and the journey ended there. And so I find myself sat in my pyjamas (yes, I’m well aware it’s 4pm) starting a blog.

I have tried to keep a blog twice before – one was an environmental blog which consisted of five posts, and the other a travel blog which was a little more successful with a total number of 8 posts. Looking back, I can see why these blogs were unsustainable: I had a social life. That’s not to say that anyone keeping a blog lacks one, but I used to go out most nights to the theatre and exhibitions, to tango and zumba, and to wine and dine and socialise. These days my time is spent scanning job websites, searching the net for cheap and cheerful recipes, and reading. Not the most exciting subject for a blog, but I’ll give it a go anyway.

I’ve always found coming up with a blog name the most exciting part of the process, and today I made lists of possible ideas. I listed everything I could think of from what-it-says-on-the-tin “My mid-mid-life crisis blog” and “OMG I’m twenty seven”, to childhood pet names and favourite songs. The fun wore off quickly and after what felt like hours, I threw my up my hands and decided to pick a title from a hat. And the winner: ‘AhhhFishCakes’*. Brilliant. I considered tossing the strip of paper in the bin and picking another but that would feel like cheating.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how not to choose a blog name.

* In case you were wondering, ‘fish cakes’ is one of several substitute swear words my mum uses. Others include ‘fiddlesticks’, ‘shoot’, ‘drat’, and ‘Gordon Bennett’.