I just came across this brilliant illustration from twenty pixels titled “A field guide to procrastinators”. I’d say I’m a combination of the cleaner, list maker, and side tracker. What type of procrastinator are you?
The ultimate time-waster: stone doodling.
If time wasting ever became a qualification, I can tell you that I would definitely be over-qualified. From browsing Etsy to practising hand-stands, I am a top-notch expert in the matter. Here are my top 5 favourite ways to waste time:
1. Verbotomise with Verbotomy
Don’t be surprised if you’ve never heard of Verbotomy. There are currently only three players. Your challenge, should you accept, is to create a word to match a definition. Not only is this game addictive, but it is also incredibly frustrating as you will always find yourself thinking that your word should have won ‘word of the day’ as it was far better than the rest. Here are a few of my past words:
WORD: Cramouflage: /‘Cram-o-flage’/ Anticipating management’s poor attempt at a staff buffet, Pete went about his usual cramouflage, secretly gobbling a hand-full of dried cereal, two cupcakes and half a bag of marshmallows. Etymology: A combination of ‘Cram’- to fill with an excessive amount of food; overfeed, and ‘Camouflage’ – concealment.
DEFINITION: v. To pig out at your desk right before a business lunch, so you’ll be satisfied with a salad and water at the restaurant, and create the impression that you’re not a glutton. n., A secret snack taken to strengthen one’s resolve not to eat too much while others are watching.
WORD: Muffet: /Muff – ay/ The guests stared at the table in silence, wondering who would take the first bite. Susan had once again concocted one of her infamous muffets. Etymology: A combination of ‘Buffet’ – a system of serving meals in which food where the diners serve themselves, and ‘Muff’ – A mistake or failure
DEFINITION: v. To prepare or process food in a manner that renders it unpalatable, indigestible and completely inedible. n., Food which has been prepared in such a way that it is unfit for human, or even non-human, consumption.
Try it yourself here: http://www.verbotomy.com/verbotomics.php
2. Get nostalgic with an Emulator
As a self-confessed SNES (Super Nintendo) addict, it will come as no surprise that I can waste a good day or two reliving my childhood in the company of Kirby, Mario and Donkey Kong. I use an emulator, which is no nowhere near as good as the real thing, but it really does pass the time. My current favourite is the highly-addictive, bacteria-killing, tetris-style Dr. Mario. If you can cope with whacky colours and irritating music, then Dr. Mario will have you hooked in seconds.
Find different emulators and games here: http://www.emulator-zone.com/
3. Indulge with Indulgy
I can’t say that I understand the point of Indulgy other than being a major time-wasting site, and boy, does it waste a few hours! If your eyes start to glaze over as you scroll through the endless pages, I’d recommend using the search tool. My particular favourites are ‘Peas’ where you’ll find an image of someone with a pea tattoo (strangely filed under the category ‘Lesbians’), ‘Penis’ which displays a surprising amount of penis-themed edibles, and ‘Bacon’ – who doesn’t love bacon?
Get indulgent here: http://indulgy.com/
4. Get dreaming on Rightmove
If you’re a bit of a dreamer and are feeling extremely bored, here’s a game for you: set yourself a budget (I usually start with £5,500,000), pick a random place on the map, and prepare to drool as you trawl through the UK’s most spectacular homes. (You get extra points if you call up an agency, put on a posh accent and book a house viewing.)
Dream on: http://www.rightmove.co.uk/
5. Get a buzz on BuzzFeed
Every morning as I sip my first cup of tea of the day, I fill yet another BSC (brain storage compartment) with (pointless) information about (pointless) things. Today I learnt 8 sex tips from the 17th Century, oogled over a picture of the prettiest cow of all time, and scrolled through 13 image of men wearing food-themed clothing.
Head over there now: http://www.buzzfeed.com/?country=uk